Why I Love Being A Black Woman

Growing up, I always found black women to be so beautiful and couldn’t wait till I surpassed my youth and became a woman.  Since I was never really exposed to Disney films minus, The Lion King, Aladdin and Cinderella (with Brandy & Whitney Houston) (one theme they are all ethnic, interesting by my parents) I got my ideals of a princess and perfection from Ebony HBCU College Queens.  I would circle their pictures and think to myself I want to look like that, or her hair is so pretty, her lips are nice or her makeup is pretty.  As I grew older and older, I realized that society doesn’t really have those views of us because I feel like lately, whenever I read something about black women we are being bashed, and although some of the criteria being discussed doesn’t fit me, I feel personally attacked on part of my demographic.   All the things that I’ve read essentially state how we will remain single (not true) because there’s no good black men out there (not true) and because we are smarter sometimes that makes men feel subordinate and insecure (could be true).

Well here is where I commend Essence Magazine, for their new “Why I love Being a Black Woman” feature.  This is such a fitting topic for me because I love being black.  When I look at black women I see this ultimate level of strength.  For one reason or another in our culture blacks are viewed at the bottom of the toddempole maybe because of slavery, but you always see these black women rise up.  More black women then any other ethnicity are single parents, yet they still manage to support and take care of their children.  I love my skin, I love my hair, and the versatility of it.  There’s all these debates of perm vs. natural, weave vs. no weave—and to be honest, I like being able to attain all these things, I like that one day I can rock a fro and the next day rock a Remi #2, but yes, the feature was something that was needed.

The magazine featured some of our black female celebrities such as: Ledisi (my girl), Lisa Wu-Hartwell, Kelly Rowland, The Mowry Twins, Chrisette Michelle, Tichina Arnold, Tamala Jones, and Wendy Raquel Robinson, and I just wanted to highlight some of the cool things they said, as well as cool things about the article.  *Black Women Stand Up (holler, lol)*

“We’re resilient.  We make the impossible possible.  Just think about Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman.  Black women always set new rules.” – Lisa Wu-Hartwell

“We love with everything—our heart, soul, mind.” – Kelly Rowland

“My booty is small but round enough to sit something on it.” – Tamera Mowry

“When a black woman cuts her eyes at you, it means that was your last chance and no one can help you because you’ve used all your lifelines.” – Tichinia Arnold

I Am Not My Hair + Slim Thug

India Arie coined the term “I Am Not My Hair,” in her 2006 release Testimony: Vol.1, Life & Relationship–somewhere between that time and now people have missed that, and are using their hair as some form of superiority over one another.

The thing that disturbs me is the fact that black women are feeding into this. We are constantly being ridiculed in society when Black guys leave us for white women, or when we read statistics about how we are going to inevitably end up single and bitter because we are not submissive, to make matters worse we are using dead follicles as a way to classify and stereotype each other.

I’ve heard girls with perms and presses say that girls with natural hair smell bad, or look like they stink.  I’ve heard girls with natural hair say that girls with perms and presses are trying to fit into white standards and that they are closer to their roots because they chose to wear your hair natural.  My thing is, your hair doesn’t make you any closer to the roots of your culture, that’s the foundation laid out by your family so at times I get offended by that statement, or rather, baffled.